I just feel blah. There is not anything new that has caused this mood. Maybe it's my hormones or maybe I am just terribly self absorbed - whose knows. The weather was absolutely beautiful here today. My boys played outside and ran and ran. Some days I wish I were that young again - to just be free of stress and worry - to just be able to run and run. I wish I could recapture some of that joyful youth, throw it in a bottle and drink a little on days like today. I looked online at some of the new referral's and I felt jealous - how horrible is that??? Those families have waited 3x as long as I have and I didn't even feel happy for them. I know you're all thinking what a horrible person I am - I am too. I just need to get these things out - to be honest, I don't even know if I will feel better or worse once I post this. I guess that's the magic of blog - it can be erased. I want my baby girl here. I want to watch her run and run outside with her brothers. I want to touch her silky soft hair and smell her baby soft skin. I want to look in her eyes and see her beautiful smile. I want hold her and rock her and love her. I am feeling sorry for myself and I am only 6 months into this wait. I know I am being selfish - I am just not sure how to snap out of this. Like Tracy, I need to find my happy place...where the he** is it???
5 comments:
I know that mood! I thought I was self absorbed as well and I also was "jealous" of those sweet referral photos, maybe it's normal...or at least our normal.
I think my happy place just might be in the Coach store....I'm gonna have to look.
I think many of us can relate to how you are feeling. Well, I know I can. Thanks for this post, it made me realize I'm not the only one who feels this way at times.
Daniella
There is nothing wrong with wanting your child in your arms. It takes a lot to make it through all of this.
Just hang in there.
I remember being there as well. Hang in there....
Post a Comment