We had a heck of a time this weekend with our boys and one thing is ringing loud and clear in my head right now is: My boys are spoiled!!! They have no concept of $$ or time or patience. Don't get me wrong - I adore them - they - along with John are my whole life and I wouldn't trade it for anything - but, I would change the fact that they have no idea how to be grateful. I doesn't matter where we are - they want something. Every isle at the grocery store they pick something up and insist that they have to have it. When we say no - the fits begin. If we take them to dinner - it is not what they want. If we take them to a game they whine for treats the whole time - never mind the $200 we spent just to get in! sheesh! I found a toy that E insisted he wanted for Christmas... It couldn't be found in the store by the time I went shopping for it - so I bought it on e-bay and spent 3x what it was worth...I found it yesterday BROKEN - unfix able - beyond repair!!! AHHHHH!!!! When he realized it was broken all he said is - "you can buy a new one." Are you kidding me???? When I ask my boys to help clean up or do their chores it is constant whining and fighting. Then I begin yelling and grounding. It is all so wonderful...good times. Any advice here would be great...how do I teach my boys gratitude and hard work??? I truly feel like I am ruining them. If I never teach them these things - what kind of men will they become? What kind of husbands and fathers? Today that is weighing on my mind...how do we fix this?
7 comments:
Great to hear from you! When I first saw your blog, I thought 'there is a kindred spirit'. 3 boys and growing. I can totally relate.
Have a great day!
I have no idea!! But when you do figure it out let me know, I know of a few parents out there who could use that bit of info! Hope to see you Saturday!!
Tawni, you are a great mother with fantastic children. I have no advice about your kids, seeing as I only have animals, but you could do what I do with Alex, spray Bitter Yuk in his mouth...
You sound JUST like me. I started a marble system. For every 10 marbles they earn, they can pick one more toy to play with. Everything is off limits to them for now! I felt the exact same way, I didn't even want to have Christmas, I was so done with giving them things. Things are improving, but it's a slowwwww process.
This is such a good topic. We are having trouble at our house too. There is not only a lack of gratitude but my kids don't take care of their things and my daughter is getting quite rude. I have the same feeling that things are getting slightly out of control! I like Tracy's idea of marbles. Recently I was explaining to my daughter that if she brakes something she won't have it any more to play with. Her response was "well, you'll just buy me another one". I am sure you can imagine the steam coming from my ears!
I did start a "Gold Star Manners" program with a package of paper stars from Staples. It went like this, if you were caught using great manners you got your name and what your good manners were on a gold star. We taped the stars up in the kitchen and then there was going to be a reward after you got 10 stars. I got the first one up and lost the package of stars. This was months ago and I still have not found them. I guess maybe it is time to go back to staples! The kids got into it until they realized I had truly lost the package of stars.
I thought that this kind of thing was rearing its head because of the situation I'm in as a step-mother. It seems as though I'm not the only person out there who thinks their child acts spoiled and ungrateful about the many things we give to them. Somehow they need to realize that they have more than so many and they want for nothing!
I would love the same advice. My children sound EXACTLY like yours. My oldest lost his retainer and doesn't even want to invest 10 minutes to look for it. He just wants me to buy a new one. I told him he will be paying at least half.
We have toys that were begged for that they never played with.
It's nuts. We did it though. I don't know exactly how, but we made them this way.
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