Darling A

A. has been on my mind a lot these past few days. I know this may sound strange - but I feel a void in my heart - like she is far away. I know what you are thinking - "She's in China...She IS far away." But, I have always felt a little piece of her near me. But, now - it is as if she has let go. What does this mean? I'm not sure. My gut feeling? Her little life on earth has started - she had to let go to start living here and now. Has her birthmother become pregnant with her? Has she been born recently? I'm not sure...Maybe it is nothing and these feelings are just made up in the heart of me - her mother who aches for her. Time is moving so slow - and truth be told - we've just started waiting. Sunday was our 2 month anniversary of our LID. 2 Months - out of how many? I know that everything happens for a reason and that we cannot dictate when things happen, I know this is where my faith has to come in. There is a purpose and a plan for our life - for A's life. I just wish she'd hurry up and get here.